This Lawyer Joke Is The Greatest Of All Time

In my line of work, I’ve heard every species of lawyer joke. People really love to pick on lawyers. Did you hear the one about the lawyer, the rabbi and the priest walking into a bar? There are several variations on the number of lawyers it takes to change a lightbulb. I’m not sure why every lawyer joke ends with a slight on the profession’s ethics. I mean, not all lawyers are bad. My favorite joke ever — my greatest of all time — has to be the engineer in hell.

Here’s how I remember it:

An engineer died and found herself in hell. With time on her hands, and weather conditions not to her liking, the engineer built an air conditioning system that made hell a little less hot. The devil shared his good news on the weekly conference call with God. And God was outraged. “There’s been a mistake,” said God. “The engineer is in our book. She should have come to heaven, not gone to hell.” “Tough! She’s mine,” replied the devil. “We need her. She’s adjusted to our environment. She’s got flush toilets and an escalator in the works. So we’re keeping her down here.” “I’ll sue you!” God roared. “You’ll pay for this, and you’ll pay our lawyer fees.” The devil smiled, savoring his victory. “You’re bluffing. Where are you going to find a lawyer?”

Now that’s a shame. Do we joke like that about any other profession? What is it about lawyers that gives jokes like these the ring of truth? Never mind that. It’s a good thing God can represent himself in that lawsuit. We at Courtroom5 stand ready to help. What’s your greatest lawyer joke? Share in the comments below.

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January 15, 2024 1:37 pm

A Lawyer and the Pope died at the same time, both went to heaven.
They were met at the Pearly Gate by St. Peter who conducted them to their rooms.
The Pope’s room was spartan with bare floor, army cot for a bed, and a single bulb for light.
They came to the Lawyer’s room.
It was huge with wall to wall carpeting, king sized water bed, indirect lighting, color TV, stereo, Jacuzzi and fully stocked bar.
The Lawyer said, “There must be a mistake. This must be the Pope’s room!”
St Peter said, “There’s no mistake. This is your room. We have lots of Pope’s, but you’re our very first Lawyer!”